A story written by Kingsley (08165723785, chikerelance@ gmail.com) ‘
You are very stupid o. I asked for assorted continental fried rice,spiced wings of an elephant, flavoured liver of a lion but see what you are giving me’ I ranted at the Hotel manager. ‘We are very sorry sir,this is all we can offer’ The Manager replied with his head bowed in respect. ‘What nonsense!’ I Continued. ‘Let me see that Menu again’ I ordered while the Hotel manager with his head fully bowed stretched forth his hands and handed me the menu. ‘And I thought this was a 5-Star Hotel’ I continued babbling. ‘Let me just manage this,and this,and that,no, this and that’ I croaked, pointing to various items on the food menu while the Manager continued nodding his head like an agama lizard. ‘I’ll be back shortly Sir’ He announced and took his leave.
I felt bossily hearing the old man ascribe Sir to me. But the state of hunger i was in didnt let it get fully into my brain. Ooo ooh. Where on earth is this man and my food. With the type of hunger ‘hungrying’ me now,i can swallow ten ohrobo’s and still feel not satisfied. ‘Here we are Sir, Fried rice,Chicken and Hennessy’ the waiter said as he served the food to me while the manager stood afar. ‘What took you guys so long,you nearly killed a brother here’ I hissed.
In no time i had gulped down seven plates of fried rice,five full
spiced chickens and three bottles of hennessy but still wanted more.
I have the money!
‘Waiter,More please’ I shouted from my seat.
‘Sorry sir,you have finished our pot of rice and chicken,there is
nothing more to serve sir’
Shoooo! This guy dey craze walahi.
‘Okay whatelse do you have’ I asked calmly,trying hard not to
explode my anger on him.
‘Only coconuts sir’
‘Okay just bring it,i will manage’
‘Okay sir’. ‘Here it is sir’ The waiter said serving one very big
coconut that looked like my headmaster’s head.
I plunged into it,with full force,not minding the shell as i wanted
to have a good taste of it…
I took the coconut with my hands and with my teeth i bit the shell
very hard!..
‘Jessssssssusssss! Val don kill me o’ Emma shouted waking me up
from my dream with a thunderous slap on my cheek.
‘You begin to dey eat your pillow,I no talk. You carry my pillow
begin dey chop,I no talk. Now na my head you wan chop abi?
God punish you’ Emma burst out.
I sat on the bed totally speechless. Words failed me as i was yet
to comprehend what Emma was saying.
Oh now i get. I remembered eating fried rice and chicken in my
dreams so what the hell is he saying about me eating pillow and
heads?
I felt the rumbling of my stomach which signified that i hadnt
eaten anything for the last 48 hours.
‘Guy,abeg Day never break?’ I asked Emma who gave me a
quimzzical look and started laughing out loud.
He continued his infectious laughter rolling on the floor which
greatly infuriated me,then i thought about giving him back his own
coin.
I stood up from the bed and went closer to him,tapped him on his
shoulder and the moment he turned around,i landed a sounding
slap on his cheek.
Emma grabbed me by my singlet as he made to start a fight and i
was so in the mood to give him one.
Striking a pose with our fists both clenched and ready to strike a
punch as we faced each other.
One would think a fight was about to ensue but then,we both
started laughing hard as we fell on the bed.
From laughing very hard,our tone of laughter had changed to
cries.
‘Val, I swear, I fit die of hunger here o,I no even get strength
to fight at all’
‘Emma,if I tell say I dey hungry na lie i talk. If anything pass
hunger na that one i dey now’
‘Chai Valentine,so person just come campus to come die abi?
Which kind life be dis na’
‘See make we just dey pray say make tomorrow reach and we
never die of hunger’
‘As i dey talk so,if I open mouth talk,I go just fall die,make I
reserve the talking strength for tomorrow abeg’ Emma concluded as
he resigned to the bed.
My fights with my roommate Emma was not a new thing. We
fought on almost any thing and fortunately we understood each
other clearly and understood our differences.
‘Make morning do fast reach abeg before son of man go die of
hunger here o’ I thought.
I picked up my wallet besides me opening it only to see it as dry
as the sahara.
I shrugged that off.
‘Tomorrows gonna be a great day’ i thought while i fell fast asleep.
Who knows what the morning holds in store for us.
To Be Continued…
You are very stupid o. I asked for assorted continental fried rice,spiced wings of an elephant, flavoured liver of a lion but see what you are giving me’ I ranted at the Hotel manager. ‘We are very sorry sir,this is all we can offer’ The Manager replied with his head bowed in respect. ‘What nonsense!’ I Continued. ‘Let me see that Menu again’ I ordered while the Hotel manager with his head fully bowed stretched forth his hands and handed me the menu. ‘And I thought this was a 5-Star Hotel’ I continued babbling. ‘Let me just manage this,and this,and that,no, this and that’ I croaked, pointing to various items on the food menu while the Manager continued nodding his head like an agama lizard. ‘I’ll be back shortly Sir’ He announced and took his leave.
I felt bossily hearing the old man ascribe Sir to me. But the state of hunger i was in didnt let it get fully into my brain. Ooo ooh. Where on earth is this man and my food. With the type of hunger ‘hungrying’ me now,i can swallow ten ohrobo’s and still feel not satisfied. ‘Here we are Sir, Fried rice,Chicken and Hennessy’ the waiter said as he served the food to me while the manager stood afar. ‘What took you guys so long,you nearly killed a brother here’ I hissed.
In no time i had gulped down seven plates of fried rice,five full
spiced chickens and three bottles of hennessy but still wanted more.
I have the money!
‘Waiter,More please’ I shouted from my seat.
‘Sorry sir,you have finished our pot of rice and chicken,there is
nothing more to serve sir’
Shoooo! This guy dey craze walahi.
‘Okay whatelse do you have’ I asked calmly,trying hard not to
explode my anger on him.
‘Only coconuts sir’
‘Okay just bring it,i will manage’
‘Okay sir’. ‘Here it is sir’ The waiter said serving one very big
coconut that looked like my headmaster’s head.
I plunged into it,with full force,not minding the shell as i wanted
to have a good taste of it…
I took the coconut with my hands and with my teeth i bit the shell
very hard!..
‘Jessssssssusssss! Val don kill me o’ Emma shouted waking me up
from my dream with a thunderous slap on my cheek.
‘You begin to dey eat your pillow,I no talk. You carry my pillow
begin dey chop,I no talk. Now na my head you wan chop abi?
God punish you’ Emma burst out.
I sat on the bed totally speechless. Words failed me as i was yet
to comprehend what Emma was saying.
Oh now i get. I remembered eating fried rice and chicken in my
dreams so what the hell is he saying about me eating pillow and
heads?
I felt the rumbling of my stomach which signified that i hadnt
eaten anything for the last 48 hours.
‘Guy,abeg Day never break?’ I asked Emma who gave me a
quimzzical look and started laughing out loud.
He continued his infectious laughter rolling on the floor which
greatly infuriated me,then i thought about giving him back his own
coin.
I stood up from the bed and went closer to him,tapped him on his
shoulder and the moment he turned around,i landed a sounding
slap on his cheek.
Emma grabbed me by my singlet as he made to start a fight and i
was so in the mood to give him one.
Striking a pose with our fists both clenched and ready to strike a
punch as we faced each other.
One would think a fight was about to ensue but then,we both
started laughing hard as we fell on the bed.
From laughing very hard,our tone of laughter had changed to
cries.
‘Val, I swear, I fit die of hunger here o,I no even get strength
to fight at all’
‘Emma,if I tell say I dey hungry na lie i talk. If anything pass
hunger na that one i dey now’
‘Chai Valentine,so person just come campus to come die abi?
Which kind life be dis na’
‘See make we just dey pray say make tomorrow reach and we
never die of hunger’
‘As i dey talk so,if I open mouth talk,I go just fall die,make I
reserve the talking strength for tomorrow abeg’ Emma concluded as
he resigned to the bed.
My fights with my roommate Emma was not a new thing. We
fought on almost any thing and fortunately we understood each
other clearly and understood our differences.
‘Make morning do fast reach abeg before son of man go die of
hunger here o’ I thought.
I picked up my wallet besides me opening it only to see it as dry
as the sahara.
I shrugged that off.
‘Tomorrows gonna be a great day’ i thought while i fell fast asleep.
Who knows what the morning holds in store for us.
To Be Continued…